Elements of Will

By Aphex Twin

(Listen to #3 by Aphex Twin for enhanced reading pleasure.)

My head aches, as adrenaline accelerates throughout my system.

I feel apprehensive regarding a change of routine.

OCD has its antennas on high alert. I feel threatened by the mind that belongs to me.

With experience, I have discovered that when my mind finds calm, it processes thoughts productively.

I feel overwhelmed, as if I am being suffocated, buried by fresh cement.

The gift of the written word wraps me into focus.

I am holding the wheel firmly, as I fight with the road.

My teeth grind together like depleted brake pads grinding against the brakes. This noise is alarming.

I acknowledge the level of toxic stress I am experiencing, as the poison feels grim within my blood.

I wonder how it is that I can become poisonous to myself. The doctor has told me

“This is not your fault.”

I believe I can escape this current adrenaline, but I can not.

I will not cower from what is real.

Yet, what is real does not equate to what is true.

…my breath slows down.

Parked.

Be well.